Three Foolproof Ways to Never Wake Up (You’re Welcome)
Happy Sunday Friends,
Even as elements of the dream can feel terrifying to our characters — and let’s be honest, lately the political landscape is doing its best to audition for a dystopian thriller — there are also moments inside the dream that can be surprisingly rewarding. This is one of those strange paradoxes: it’s possible to remain aware while also letting yourself enjoy what’s in front of you, without getting caught up in the full-blown insanity.
That’s why it’s so important right now to take care of your mental health. I know that can sound contradictory — “Stay aware! But don’t spiral!” — but during intense times, it’s actually essential. Awareness without obsession, presence without getting swallowed whole.
For me, this week has been both deeply creative and genuinely fun. I’ve started an entirely new project (completely unrelated to my writing, live streams, or this newsletter) that’s rooted in history — and I am loving it. It’s reminded me that creativity is one of the best tools for navigating the dream state.
And last night? A total surprise. A friend called me last minute with an extra ticket for a soul and disco cruise around Manhattan. It was pure joy — music, dancing, city lights — the kind of night that makes you forget for a few hours that you even have a to-do list. I’ve attached two short videos for you to enjoy.
Speaking of the dream state… this week’s article takes a very tongue-in-cheek look at the Three Foolproof Ways to Never Wake Up — a roast of the habits our characters love to keep on repeat. You might laugh, you might cringe, and you might spot yourself in there (past or present). Either way, it’s a reminder that awareness often starts with seeing how the dream works.
Love Ya!
Max 💫💖
Three Foolproof Ways to Never Wake Up (You’re Welcome)
How to keep the dream alive, keep the illusion spinning, and keep your character comfortably miserable.
You want the truth? Waking up is overrated — at least if you’re asking your character. Sure, “awareness” sounds noble, but it comes with the horrifying side effects of clarity, peace, and the death of your favorite drama loops. Why risk it? If you’d rather stay gloriously tangled in the dream, I’ve got the exact blueprint. Three simple habits, endlessly repeatable, guaranteed to keep your illusion thriving until the end of time. You’re already doing them — I’m just here to make sure you never stop.
Let’s start with a confession: you don’t want to wake up.
Oh, you say you do. You light candles, do breathwork, chant mantras you found on YouTube, and post sunset selfies with captions like “Just being present 🌅✨.” But deep down? Your character would rather wrestle a grizzly bear in a snowstorm than give up its beloved dream state.
Why? Because waking up has no benefit for the character. Zero. Nada. Zilch. The truth is never asleep, so there’s nothing to “wake up” to. And the character? It’s like, “Uh, excuse me, I’m thriving in my illusion, thank you very much. Could you not ruin this for me?”
So, in honor of the character’s tireless commitment to staying asleep, here are the three most effective, time-tested, bulletproof ways to keep the dream going until the heat death of the universe.
1. Keep Seeking Like You’re Getting Paid for It
The character’s entire personality is one giant “loading” symbol.
You’re always seeking something:
Inner peace.
True love.
Six-pack abs.
A better boss.
That one perfect oat milk latte you had in 2019 but can never replicate.
The character is built on lack. Too young? You want to be older. Too old? You want to be younger. Too poor? You want money. Get the money? Now you want “meaning.” Skinny? You want muscle. Muscular? You want to be “leaner.” This isn’t self-improvement; this is masochism in yoga pants.
And the “spiritual path”? Oh, that’s just Seeking: The Deluxe Edition™. It comes with mala beads and a tote bag. The second you hear the word “path,” you’re hooked, because a path means a destination, which means a prize, which means—surprise!—another thing to chase.
And just so we’re clear, I’m not mocking from the outside here. I spent years as a card-carrying member of the Seekers’ Club. If there had been a loyalty punch card, I’d have earned a free reincarnation before breakfast.
Want to stay in the dream? Simple. Never stop chasing. Seek like it’s a full-time job with dental benefits. Bonus points if you judge other seekers for “not being there yet” while you’re still, you know… not there yet.
2. Control Freak Your Way to Enlightenment (Or Not)
Control is the dream’s favorite drug.
You try to control:
The weather.
Your partner’s personality.
Your “bad” habits.
Your mother’s unsolicited advice.
Global politics (via angry Facebook comments, naturally).
You’ve convinced yourself that if you could just fine-tune every molecule of existence, you’d finally be happy. Never mind that reality has literally never, not once, cooperated with that plan.
Control is the hamster wheel’s engine. It’s also why you’re exhausted before breakfast. A Course in Miracles put it best: you have no idea how much energy it takes to uphold the ego’s belief system. Imagine trying to hold a beach ball underwater for the rest of your life. Now imagine it’s 10,000 beach balls. Welcome to your Tuesday.
For many years, my character treated control like a full-time career — and I was employee of the month for about a decade straight. Now, I just watch the control reflex kick in like an old reflex from a dream I don’t live in anymore.
The moment you stop controlling, something horrifying happens: space opens. Space = uncertainty. Uncertainty = the character’s worst nightmare. So, yeah. Keep that death grip on reality. You’ll never risk the horror of peace.
3. Worship Your Interpretations Like They’re Holy Scripture
If you really want to keep the dream locked tight, here’s the secret: believe every single thought you have.
Your character lives in a bubble — a tiny, airless little bubble — made entirely of its own interpretations. And inside that bubble, you’re always right.
Your story isn’t a story; it’s THE story.
Your opinion isn’t a perspective; it’s THE truth.
And obviously, your water bottle is objectively better than anyone else’s because you’ve had it for five years, it’s metal, and it holds iced tea at night. Case closed.
Here’s the thing: no one cares about your opinion. Not because it’s bad, but because they’re too busy caring about their opinion. We’re all tuned to the same radio station — WIIFM: What’s In It For Me. Everyone’s broadcasting from there. Your mom’s on it. Your boss is on it. Even the Dalai Lama’s probably got a preset saved.
I used to live inside my interpretations like they were luxury real estate — gated community, ocean view, and a security guard at the gate. These days, I know they’re just temporary rentals in a dream neighborhood I’ve already moved out of.
Believing your interpretations keeps your world the size of a postage stamp. Which is perfect if you never want the illusion to crack.
The Trifecta of Staying Asleep
Do all three and you’re basically a dream-state Olympic champion:
Seek endlessly.
Control obsessively.
Believe yourself religiously.
Do them with conviction and you’ll never have to risk those terrifying cracks in the illusion — the ones that show up when you stop, let go, and wonder if maybe you don’t actually know anything.
And remember: this isn’t about “right” or “wrong.” There’s no moral superiority in waking up. Some people want the roller coaster; some want the merry-go-round. Some just want to sit in the gift shop with an overpriced soda and wait it out.
But if you do start to notice the chasing, gripping, and insisting, don’t panic. That’s just the first draft of freedom. Ignore it, and you can get right back to business as usual.
Sweet dreams.
P.S. If you enjoy this week’s article, please like, share, and leave a comment — it really helps more people find it, and I’d love to hear what you think. Your thoughts make these conversations even better.
Thank you 🙏